Sitting Still

The TV signal is like granola tonight. And I'm aching. The painter usually comes on around now. I would know for sure if I had a clock, but I'm through with that. Who wants to get trapped like that? TV is bad enough, but at least I've been freed tonight. Now if I could only find something to eat. The shelves have just about run empty. The microwave keeps running when I pull the door open. I don't want to get some kind of cancer. I'll steer clear of that. Machines. They're probably killing us. Like this TV. It's just showing the stuff that's moving all around us all the time. Radio waves. It's energy. Energy that we're bombarded with every second of our lives. That has to do something. Light. I should turn off the light. Light is stronger than radio. It's better to stay healthy. These crazy nutjobs. Killing themselves slowly, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They even left their lights on when they went to sleep. Have some respect for yourself! Their blankets smell of spices. It's all over me. I can't get away from it. I'll bet that even if there was running water to take a shower it would still be on me when I got out. Why haven't I turned off the TV?

I can't see. But if I sit here and look around long enough, my eyes will adjust. I remember reading about these people that lived underground for generations. They turned into blind monsters. But their sense of hearing and smell became so honed in the process. They lurked around the nearby villages and stole children from their homes at night. I don't remember where I read that anymore. I suppose it probably wasn't true. You can't trust people! People will let you say anything these days and get away with it. There's no restraint. And we call that freedom! We're just trapping ourselves in with a big wall of lies. It would take millions of years of evolution to create a species of blind human beings. There's no possible way that there will be civilization in another million years. Probably not even the next hundred years.

I wonder if that static...

How would I know if it had all ended? Nuclear explosions obliterate New York City. How long before the effects of that reach here? There's just this granola on the TV screen for maybe 25 minutes and then there's no more feeling. No more time. Because there's no such thing as time really, just another stupid invention like the TV or the microwave. It's a dimension. And we don't understand it. It's not cyclical. And we can't live in a cyclical mindset. Otherwise, all of the pain that we escape from will catch right back up with us again. And I can't accept that. I have to believe that this is random.

I better just check...

Still the granola. Still no food. And I'm suddenly glad that their blankets smell of spices. I think it's covering up the stench. I better not think of that. It will just get worse. But it's not that simple. I can't just tell myself something and make it be true. If there is a stench then there is a stench.

How long has it been since I've moved from this position? I think the cold has frozen my joints. I need to pour hot water on myself like my mom used to do to the car in the morning before driving me to school when the doors were frozen shut. That always looked so nice. The warmth. The awakening feeling. It must be so wonderful to be warmed like that. To be brought back to life.

I have to urinate. I could go in my clothes. That would be so warm. But then it would become uncomfortable. And if I'm gonna be stuck here I shouldn't make myself uncomfortable.

What time is...

No! I can't get away from it. I'm tired. So what? That doesn't mean that it matters what "time" it is! How did we let them do this to us? Wasn't there someone who spoke up when they began to trap us? Nobody listens to us. We have the answers. Not to everything, of course, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens to us. They didn't listen to me. So I had to save them myself. Why don't I turn the TV off?